My wife accused me of spending too much time on my phone. I Googled how to respond.
Marriage used to require communication. Now it requires a reliable internet connection and the ability to search for the least offensive answer.
Picture a perfectly ordinary dinner. Two people, one table, and a phone that apparently deserves its own place setting. She wants a conversation. He wants to finish reading something that will be completely forgotten by dessert.
When she points out the problem, he does what any modern, resourceful husband would do: consult the very device that's causing it. Somewhere online, a stranger has probably written a twelve-step guide to being more present. Step one is almost certainly to put down the phone. He's still reading step zero.
Technology promises to bring us closer together, but sometimes it just gives us better ways to avoid eye contact. In Wi-Fi Out, Family Time In, losing the connection unexpectedly restores a few others. And When the Internet Goes Down, Life Comes Up considers what happens when the screens stop competing for attention.
The trouble with searching for the perfect response is that the answer was sitting across the table the whole time. No password required. No software update. Not even a subscription.
He could apologize, put the phone away, and enjoy dinner. Instead, he's checking whether the search results have a section for husbands who have already made things worse.
The internet has answers to almost everything. Timing, unfortunately, is still a human problem.
