The Doorbell Review Process

According to Chad cartoon showing a man relaxing on his couch while watching a delivery driver through a Ring video doorbell, joking that he reviews visitors instead of answering the door.

I don’t answer the door anymore—I review it.

There was a time when the doorbell rang and you had two choices: answer it or pretend you weren't home. Modern technology has given us a third option. We can watch the person standing outside while pretending we're not home.

The video doorbell may be one of the greatest advances in avoiding unnecessary human interaction. It identifies visitors, records their movements, sends notifications, and provides enough information to decide whether answering the door is worth putting down the remote.

A delivery driver approaches with a package. The camera activates. Your phone buzzes. The television displays a live feed. Somewhere in the cloud, another recording of a cardboard box becomes part of your permanent digital history.

The remarkable thing is how quickly we've adapted. We no longer wonder who's at the door. We wonder whether the visitor deserves an audience. It's less like answering a doorbell and more like reviewing applicants for a position nobody advertised.

In When Your Smart Home Calls Customer Service, connected technology finds new ways to complicate ordinary household life. And Smart Appliances Have Opinions Now reminds us that the devices we invited into our homes have become remarkably involved in our decisions.

Of course, the doorbell hasn't eliminated interruptions. It's simply upgraded them. Instead of one familiar chime, we now receive alerts, video previews, motion notifications, and occasional reports about a squirrel approaching the porch.

The original doorbell had one button and made one sound. Somehow, we managed.

Now we have a complete home surveillance system to tell us somebody is delivering paper towels.

Chad Geepeety™ — Confident Advice. Questionable Results.

Chad Geepeety

Chad Geepeety™ is the internet’s most confident source of questionable advice.

Powered by artificial intelligence and irrational certainty, Chad delivers bold takes on everyday technology, office life, corporate buzzwords, smart devices, and the mysterious relationship between Wi-Fi and printers.

From “According to Chad” to “Chad Defines” and “Ask Chad”, this is satire for anyone who has ever:

• Restarted something before understanding it

• Clicked “Update Now” with blind optimism

• Trusted a “smart” appliance

• Or nodded through a meeting they didn’t understand

It’s not about being right.

It’s about being confident.

Confident advice. Questionable results.

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